Recommended Reading
Child
Sexual Abuse Survivors (return
to)
The Secret Revealed
A possible first step in resolving the issues surrounding the sexual abuse is talking about it. This can be a way for you to take some control - it never was your secret, it was the offender's. Victims often think they are responsible for their victimization. Offenders usually enforce this feeling by telling their victims that it is their own fault, that they deserve to be treated like objects.
If, as a child, you enjoyed the feeling of being special that sometimes accompanies sexual abuse (particularly, when there was no physical force) you may believe you asked for it. What you probably wanted was what all children want and need - love and nurturing. If you were forced to trade sexual abuse in order to get what you needed, you may be stuck with feelings of shame and guilt. The shame belongs to the offender. They were older, more mature, misused their position of trust and made a conscious decision to use a child, you, to meet their own needs.
It is important to remember at all times that under no circumstances whatsoever was the abuse ever your fault.
The Sexual Assault Centre offers counselling for survivors of child sexual abuse. If you call the Centre, you will most likely be asked what we can do to help, someone will listen and believe you, and provide information about sexual abuse. All of our crisis line workers have been trained and they are there because they understand and care. Talking to someone who cares, may be your first opportunity to break the silence that has been imposed on you.
It is up to you to decide which alternative suits you. If you make an appointment to see a counsellor it may be comforting to know that your initial visit does not have to involve "telling it all". You have the right to decide when, and how much you will tell, and to whom.
