Recommended Reading
Child
Sexual Abuse Survivors (return
to)
The Secret Defined
Child sexual abuse teaches us that we are meant to be used to meet someone else's needs, and we are powerless to change that fact. We were taught our value lies in our bodies and we do not have the right to say no to an adult. When as children we were warned about strangers the warnings rarely included descriptions of what might happen or how to protect ourselves against someone we knew and trusted. As a result, when the sexual abuse happened, we may have felt confused, ashamed, angry, guilty, helpless and alone.
Studies have shown that children rarely make up stories about sexual abuse. A child is more likely to lie to protect the offender and/or save the family unit. After child sexual abuse is disclosed the child may say they lied in order to stop the sometimes painful process of investigation and legal proceedings. This is called recanting. Children are more likely to lie when they recant.
Families often encourage victims to ignore or suppress their feelings. They may do this in order to avoid public exposure, to avoid confronting the offender, or because they feel powerless to change the situation. Non-offending people in the child's life do not always know of the abuse, and if they do they may not always take action to stop it.
