Information for Parents (return to)

How You Can Help

Important messages to convey to the child are:

• it's not your fault
• I believe you
• I'm glad you told me
• I'm sorry this happened to you, and
• together, we will try to get you the help you need

It may be difficult to conceal your anger and outrage at the offender, but this is important so you can be sure your child does not misunderstand with whom you are angry. It is best to delay showing your anger until the child is out of sight and earshot. Try not to react with extreme shock or disgust. Do not make promises to the child that it may not be possible for you to keep.

You may feel like rushing into action, or you may want to dismiss the incident completely, but neither reaction will be helpful to your child. It is important to allow children enough time to describe what happened and how they feel about it.

After reporting the incident to Child Welfare and/or the police, ask for a referral for counselling for you and your child. It is important to take your child for a medical check-up as well to make sure there are no internal injuries. They may not be immediately apparent.

You may be reluctant to call Child Welfare or the police because you may think it would be best for the child to forget the incident. Remember, it is the law that child sexual abuse or suspected child sexual abuse must be reported. The Child Welfare Act of Alberta requires that any suspected child abuse must be reported to Child welfare and the police under penalty of law. Call 1-800-387-5437 from anywhere in Alberta. It is unlikely the child will forget what happened simply because it is not talked about. The child may, in fact, be better able to assimilate the experience and not have it overwhelm them if some intervention has occurred. In addition, the offender may be molesting other children. Offenders will offend on average, one hundred times in their lifetimes so steps should be taken to protect other children who may be at risk.

What Do You Do Now?